What On Your Bedside Table....Batteries Not Included!

The other day when told someone I was reading a couple of books that I was looking forward to writing up on RedCarpetRefugees.com they looked at me as if I had just punched them.  So yes, Boy About Town can read, I even went to college!  But how often do any of us get a chance to sit down and read a book from cover to cover and really grab every little bit of it? Not that often I am guessing.  So I am gonna start reading some of the books you fine folks have been handing me, sending me & ordering for me and giving my never ending opinion on them. Kinda like Oprah's book club but without all the life lessons between commercial breaks!  The first book on top on the pile, yes there is a pile, is "Quitting Crystal Meth" by Joseph Sharp.  We are jumping right into the deep end of the pool boys & girls.  As we covered here on RedCarpetRefugees.com in a posting dated   September 25th 2013 the Meth epidemic has reached a point that everyone, somewhere knows someone that is battling Meth. Think you don't know someone? You know me, if only through this blog, but trust me there are others in your life.  In talking about the book I am going to refer to Mr Sharp as Joseph because he has opened himself so completely in his writing it would be odd to stand on ceremony, and lets face it, I am not that type of guy anyway.  What Joseph has done is put together a book that walks one through the long, painful and often repeated process of getting clean. This is not a story book,  in the sense he tells his story in a play by play but rather a guide to use along the journey....kinda like "What To Expect When Your Expecting" but for the tweaked set.  

I have to say, in reading "Quitting Crystal Meth" , that I don't believe to many active Meth users will sit down and start the book much less finish it.  I think that Joseph was fully aware that his book would be used by Meth addicts families & friends as a means of what to expect and what the right actions to take as well as not take would be! 

Having said that I also know that many an addict will be handed the book either by friends, rehab staff or even their drug dealers. Don't laugh, I saw that happen! And at a certain point the book is perfect for the addict themselves.  "Quitting Crystal Meth "  is a fabulous step by step, please note the step reference, way to start and manage your recovery.  What I like most was the small, short testimonies  from addicts.  What they had to say in each of their small bits fell right into line with the time frame of where the book was along the  recovery path.  At no point is one made to feel there is a blue print that MUST be followed but rather a path is pointed out and you are given an invite to walk the path and discover your own way while using others experience to aid you.  Joseph has managed to handle an insanely hard topic with a straight forward grace that is at times lacking in other books on the topic as well as in the recovery community at  to Joseph Sharp and to those needing the book I personally send you light & love.....We will surely see each other as we trudge the road of happy destiny.

Stay Fabulous !  Boy About Town

Off Season But On Point

In the mad rush of summer fun and getting fully prepped for LA Pride this weekend Boy About Town spent a week back at his "spiritual home" of Palm Springs which has proved to be just want was needed.  So while many may find the idea of spending time in the California desert right as summer hits it's full stride to be something to run

The Fab, Flagging 4

from I am going to spend a moment paying tribute to this touchstone in my life.....It's my blog and I can if I wanna!  So, we started the night off at David & Steve's favorite eatery, Greek Isle. These 2 hunks are the ones that introduced Boy About Town to the world of flagging which is coming up on a posting soon!  So I am starting my night off with a happily married, long term couple, that are both hella hotties but I am sitting in the spit where they tied the knot.  Bam! You have my attention!  We were joined by Tracy, a new Palm Springs gal that an ex introduced me to & I got in the break up, I totally scored with her in my plus column!  Now, have you ever been to the type of restaurant where the staff knows EVERYTHING about the food, the chef, the wine....Well boys & gals Greek Isle was just that place!  The cute waitstaff,  I judge a place by the whole picture, was on the ball. And as the live music kicked in and the cozy courtyard began to fill the staff did not miss a beat. When hitting Palm Springs stop in Greek Isle 139 E. Andreas Rd.  Now this meeting of the fab, flagging 4 happened on a Thursday night, which in Palm Spring means Village Fest!  Now during the winter months this weekly festival draws so many tourist and snowbirds that it can become to crowded.  In the warm, yet not overly so, summer nights, after the sun sets the locals come out to play at this must visit desert do! The Village Fest brings together local, small business owners that make their own product and sell it without all that middle man rigmarole!  #fabulous! 

Boy About Town & Lady LuLu herself!

It was amazing seeing old friends like the wonderful Lady LuLu.  Now for those of you that have, emailed, tweeted, facebooked, etc about the "cat hat" Boy was wearing non stop this winter, this is the Mother of said hat as well as tons of other fab finds.  Her shop is right off the main drag in downtown Palm Springs but during VillageFest she sets up shop ON the main drag!  For those of you not yet blessed to visit this hidden paradise visit her at www.LadyLulu.com !  There were also new finds like this ditty "Time 4 Corn Hole"....The lady manning the booth went outta her way to let us know that this is a booth that sells games.  Honey, Boy About Town helped invent that game.  

All up & down the strip the booths were selling their local products, live music played and the streets were not so packed that you felt as if you were dating the people you walked with!

Again.....fabulous! 

And no Palm Springs posting would be complete without a shoutout to The Palm Springs Aerial Tramway!  This is a must visit, full stop!  The view from the top of of the mountain is amazing.....and the ride up is worth the ticket price alone!  AND it is about 15 degrees cooler up there making it the perfect day time activity!  So while many may not think off season is the ideal time to visit any number of places I will take the shorter lines, cheap rates and more room to do my thing any day. #told

Stay Fabulous

Boy About Town

Head First...Always!

So much to catch up on that I am skipping the usual blah, blah and diving in head first. And that means dealing with the rumor that yours truly, Mr Boy About Town, had passed away. Or as one Facebook posting called it "lost his battle with the forces of darkness" which somehow makes me sound like a character in Star Wars.  Anywho,  after some research, I have discovered that I am not dead but rather just in a bad mood.  As to those that think I had something to do with the rumor in order to get some free press, I did not,  but only because I didn't think of it first.  So lets recap...Not Dead, yet! 

Now, there has been much in the press about the VA dropping the ball on the handling of health care for our vets & of course now we have the political uproar over the prisoner swap that won the release of U.S. Army Sergeant Bowe Bergda.  But what I have been noticing is that at some point the story stops being about the "news" and starts being about how the  story is being reported, received, retold, tweeted, etc.  So is the story the facts as we understand them at the time or is the story how it plays to the mass market in 70 characters or less? I understand that I play a big part in this. While I never claim to be CNN, BBC or even FoxNews I am aware people turn to me and others like me to take the pulse of the world we live in. And while writing on topics I do a lot of research on that given topic! That comes with a bit a responsibility to your topic, your readers and yourself.  So to report about what others are writing is indeed part of the story, it is not the story it's self.  So yes The White House dropped the ball on the release of Sgt Bowe Bergda. And yes the whole walking away from his post is hinky as hell.  And clearly I too saw he the freed Sgts father was wearing a v dress shirt in the rose garden that while very summer, was not a smart PR move. But those are the news, Yes even the dress shirt. Not what people are saying about the above mentioned on Facebook! 

Now in keeping with this news worthy vain lets "Katch Up The Kardashians”  I try to stay away but I just can't! They are like a STD that just won't quit.  Well first there are a few people that can say NO to the clan, Leo DiCaprio, along with Paris Hilton, refused to be filmed for “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” while partying on Sunday at Los Angeles.  Seems they did not want to damage their brand by appearing on what is becoming Americas slow moving train wreck!  This summer the clan is filming in New York's playground for the uber rich, The Hamptons!  Coming from a New York family myself, my parents met on the NYC subway ......classy huh? I know that the Kardashians hitting the scene there is going to go over like a fart in church! AND... Kourtney Kardashian, the only sister not in a rush to run down the aisle, has announced she is pregnant with her third child. I smell drama, which equals good TV. Okay, I believe we have covered everything worth covering....Kardashians are still a mess, I do a better job then FoxNews but not BBC and again....NOT DEAD....yet!

Stay Fabulous 

Boy About Town

Spinning Deverish

I just left a meeting where we talked about the blog numbers, just okay; My ongong stuggle to stay focused, sober & sane, this changes daily; and my being more visable in the public eye; UMMMM, I am right here.  Leaving that meeting were a table full of people are telling me how to be me & what THEY can do to help has made me it clear to me that I need to vent.  So please allow me to post this & then I am off to have my photo taken at the latest, hottest eatery in LA, owned by some reality TV star...whom I adore by the way.  Lately I seem to be beating myself up over my mistakes.  And since my lapse in judgement are promoted in 35 characters or less I am all to aware not only of dropping the ball, but of each persons thoughts on my epic failures. Christine Logan of Palm Springs seems to be my biggest promoter, running around town telling people to"google him".  Hers, and others, drive to hurt is both amusing and painful to watch.  Most people would take comfort in the success the life has brought them.  But my "winning moments", like my stumbles, are both dramatic & lonely. I know I am a good person. I have a great work ethic. I truly care for my fellow man. I want the best for everyone. I want to be present for the people in my life. But I am also a dark, sketchy, taker of your joy. I care for nothing but my pleasure in the moment....yes Michael, you were right.  I will always turn to that dark, creepy side when I am at a loss as to what to do.  Because in that dark, scared and yes lonely place, I know what to expect of people.  People grow apart.  People lie.  People stop finding me so amusing.  They leave. I will hurt. You Left.  I hurt. I ended up here alone with my racing thoughts. But at least this is known to me, only me.

You see Jesse I did not go out to relapse. I told you, time and again that I could not sit through that hell. You did not listen You sang my praises, as did the witches convent of staff until I said enough, I am a person.  So I exit. You said yourself you couldn't have made it nearly as long. But you judge without all the facts. You said I am bad....you leave. I am alone.

Tom, you rode into my train wreck on a bit of lube with an bit of a chip on your shoulder.  Yet after watching you cry over your penis, and clap with pure joy as you sleep, I feel so safe with you. So what do I do?  Run.  I turn down the little time we have. Time to be safe. Time to just be. I run. I leave. I am alone. I have always loved those spinning guys that wear the long flowing dresses....The Spinning Dervish!

I is unclear what will stop this worldwind dervish from doing what he is born to do...spin. Spinning faster and more violet. Enjoying the crazy ride, because really what other choice is there?  And time moves on. The spin is a bit more erratic and the smile a bit more strained, but still the dervish spins....and you watch.  At a certain point there is no form to the spinning.  Any form of art falls away with a crazy crash. And then the long, pronounced tumble that ends just as everyone knew it would. In tears.  In pain. Alone. How could this have happened? Why oh, why did this happen....

Who is our spinning friend is? Come on now, you all can figure that out! You all watched, encouraged, and feed the spinning.....and part of you, deep down will enjoy the titanic fall.  Which just goes to show you.....you too have a dark side.

Stay Fabulous.....

Boy About Town

Double The Hate...

It is not often that I am standing in the kitchen, watching CNN while reading some of your emails and all of the sudden am struck into a state of total, silent rage.  But that is just what happened earlier yesterday as I watched David Benham, and to a lesser extent, his brother Jason Benham explain to viewers that were not upset at the HGTV network for dropping them like nuclear waste after their far right wing views came to be common knowledge. They instead blamed the "Gay Agenda" (I hate those words, what does that even mean?) for forcing the good folks at this corporation to "part ways" with the twins.  As someone that has "parted ways" with employers a few times, I can tell you those words mean one thing....You Are Fired.

First a little history, this is going to be a Cliff Notes version because it's 3 am and I have been reading about these Bobbsey Twins all night and I am so over them.  I have often spoken of Flip Benham.  He is the leader of Operation Save America, which, among other things, has tried to shutdown every abortion clinic it has even set its sites on.  During Bill Clinton's re election campaign in 1996 your very own Boy About Town volunteered with NOW and was stationed in Little Rock, Arkansas where Flip had set up camp to beat the drum of ending a woman's  right to choose. And during that time I got to see up close how truly hateful that man is.  But this is not his story. It is a story of his twin sons. Children that were raised in a enivorment that allowed or even encouraged calling people names like faggot, or Little Miss Fruit...that was Flip's special name for me (kinda makes ya wonder about him, huh)?! So as these kids grow up they follow Daddies dogma right down the line. They also build a booming real estate business that made them a force to be reckoned with in North Carolina. They built their brand, very well I might add.  They have a natural charm that comes through, maybe one of the twins more so then the other, but whatever.
At the same time as they were working hard to become the Donald Trumps of the South they went right along believing some of Daddies right wing, nut bag jabbering.  And these high profile men, these guys that were working hard to make sure their brand of real estate dealing was going places, well these same men were plain stupid in how they handled themselves in public.  In 2004 the dynamic duo asked the City of Charlotte to deny a permit to the city's annual Gay Pride Event.  With David, of course it was David, stating that the parade’s “filth” and “destructive,” “vile” activity “should not be allowed in our city."
In an interview from August 2012 our favorite alpha twin stated that Islam is a “demonic agenda that wants to come and take America."  There he goes again with this whole agenda talk.
And never one to shy away from the camera, David Benham, both organized & led a  prayer rally in his hometown of Charlotte, right on the steps of the Democratic National Convention in 2012, can anyone say photo op?!  During this PR bonanza Mr David shared with conservative radio host Janet Mefferd what he felt was the need to stop “homosexuality and its agenda that is attacking the nation” and “demonic ideologies tak[ing] our universities and our public school systems”

Ok so you get the point...there are many, many more cases of theses 2 jumping in front of any and every camera, microphone & local paperboy to get some coverage, I for one am not judging that in the least.  But I myself have learned, sometimes painfully is that you can not put your past into a little box and tuck it away from the world. Not in this age of the Internet. Becareful of the fame you seek today because you can not turn it off in the future. And when your "fame" is from such a hate filled place you a truly playing with fire.
Now keeping all that in mind, you would have to be a fool to believe that the folks at HGTV were not aware of the mess they signing to a contract.  Did they really think that somehow this would all be missed by...well by everyone?!  If these pushers of a FAR, FAR right wing agenda, I am starting to like that word angenda, can land a TV deal, start filming, start promotions and BAM the truth comes out, well kids, Boy About Town's talk show is a sure thing. Hello HGTV!!!! Over here! You want my agents number, cause even through I have a ton of baggage I can easily pass your test for TV readiness!
So while our twins sat on cable TV, not their own show but someone else's, they asked the world to believe that the Gay Agenda is to blame for their troubles.  To both of you boys, the strong one that talks a lot and the one that looks like he didn't get enough oxygen at birth, I say....you can only blame your pretty little selves. Boy steps off soap box and walks away into the crowd.......
Stay Fabulous
Boy About Town

The Mis-Education Of America

We have all seen the headlines.  "U.S. Students Slide In Global Ranking On Math, Reading & Science"....."1 0ut Of Every 3 First year Teachers Do Not Return To Classroom"..."Budget Cuts For Local Schools".   The list goes on and on.  And yet for some reason, we as a people, as the worlds greatest superpower continue to allow American children to not only struggle but flat out fail.  This posting will look at our system for teaching our children.  We will see what people are doing on the grassroots level to fix the problem or in some cases what people are doing to build a whole new system. 
I have a good friend named Carrie.  We spent a summer running around Chicago together waiting tables, staying out to late & driving everyone around us totally crazy.  The whole time Carrie was very clear that she was going to take her new diploma and teach the youth of America.  Carrie was going to teach "the child".  Not just ABC's & 123's but to tailor each kid's workload as to where they were in their lives as a whole.  At the end of the summer Carrie packed up & moved to Kansas City.  She was living her dream. By the end of her first day the dream was shattered. The children arrived without basic supplies, pens, paper, erasers. The administration was disconnected between what had to happen to satisfy the school board and the need of its student body.  And in her first day our fearless Carrie was called, by a child...well it's not printable.  But clearly this was not what she had signed up for.  That was 16 years ago and Carrie is still teaching.  Her passion has grown over the years and she has managed to create a place where learning is not only important but fun.  She has an open door policy that allows her students to express themselves and ask questions without fear of being rebuked. That sounds like learning to me.  But for every Carrie there is a new teacher that says NO THANKS.
Many people are unwilling to battle unsafe environments, school boards without a clue & parents that are either to busy to care or just plain can't.  It's said that for every 3 new teachers that enter the classroom one will not return the following year.  That is 33 percent!  AND after that another 25 percent leave within the next 5 years.  So why do we make it so hard on the people we trust our kids with?  Why is it a battle every year for these keepers of our future to ask for a bit more cash?  Can you blame them for giving up and going into the private sector?

That is just what my friend Mandy did.  After teaching for a few years on the grade school level she left to teach English to kids in Asia. When she was teaching American kids in America she made $39,000.  In her first year overseas she made $72,000 PLUS all expense where paid.  She finds the experience both rewarding & frustrating.  The amount of respect she receives as a teacher while out of the country is shown not only in the amount she is paid but in the way she is treated by society.  She has never felt disrespect by any of her students.  As she told me, that would not be tolerated.  But why can she not find the same rewards in her own country?
On a flight I was on not to long ago I was seated next to a well put together woman.  Across the aisle was seated her 3 children.  They all sat quietly typing away on their own ipads. Not once did anyone have to ask them to quiet down.  In talking with Mom, please you know I had to talk to someone, I was to learn that each of them was working on a project for the lessons.  They were home schooled & although they had been traveling they were still expected to learn. Oh my.  It turns out that this family lives right down the street from where Boy About Town grew up.  And in her experience the cookie cutter system of teaching was doing a huge disservice to her children.  Remember this is Littleton, Co.  The place that gave us both Columbine & Arapahoe high schools.  She found that her oldest daughter shut down in groups. When she finished her work well ahead of the other students she was told to sit and wait until all the other were done.  This led to

wasted time and feelings of isolation. While once an outgoing, smart kid she was starting to fall behind in lesson.  Since home schooling began all of her children are reading above their grade level.  They have blossomed into fun loving kids with their own area of interest.  Showing a natural love of music they placed their child in front of a piano.  She can play classical pieces after hearing them just once.  Now this is a gift that very few in any public schools could nurture.  I asked a question that, for me, is very important.  What about the social aspect of school?  Learning how to deal with your peers and how they deal with you is key to growing into the person that will one day enter the world as a working adult.  There have sprung up groups in every city that allows home schooled kids to interact with each other in a setting that fosters learning.  I visited one such group in here the LA area.  The day I joined the group we went to a local museum.  In my time spent with the kids it was clear this was no random outing.  As we walked the galleries any of these home schooled kids took time to help me understand what it was I was looking at.  They all had studied, at home, the pieces where were gazing at.  They all knew, to different degrees, the name of the artists as well as a bit about the time in which they lived.  As an Art History major I was humble to have an 11 year old break down the influence that an artiste's mother had over their work....Thank you very much Hannah!
When I asked the families what could be done to improve the classrooms of America the general feeling was that it is far to gone to be fixed.  These families were focused on doing what they could to help their child.  They simply did not have the time to fight a system that seems dead set on keeping the status quo.
A quarter......25 percent of American High School students drop out.  If we lose those kids in their teens how can we expect to compete on a global level.  The kids in Kazakhstan are out performing our Yankee Doodle Munchies in areas such as Math.  We have thrown money at the problem. President Obama picked Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and gave him $100 billion to spend in an attempt to turn the decline around.  With the belief that a good teacher is the most important tool one can have in the classroom there has been a push to rid the schools of bad teachers.  But how can we be sure we are not throwing the baby out with the bath water? Mr Duncan's steps were fought tooth & nail by many.  And while some improvement has been seen we are dealing with a

crisis and half measures avail is nothing!  I have seen the difference that an enlightened, excited & informed teacher can make both in the schools & outside of it.  But are we doing all we can to encourage them, the teachers?
Teachers are overwhelmed with a large number of students, the funding that does go to schools while never large, does not get put to effective use and there is not always a home environment that encourages hard work at school.  So problem seems to be multi leveled.  And so the solution should be as well.  And that clearly will not be easy.  But what is crystal clear is that if we don't do something soon America will go on turning out a nation of people fully unprepared to meet the demands of the world we live.....
A quick side note.  While in middle school in State College, PA I started to have a very hard time in school.  I knew I was different, my peers knew I was different and things got bad fast.  There was one, just one person that made me feel safe & understood, Mrs Patricia Ann Kelly. She made sure I knew I was going to be ok.  She is the only reason I was able to stumble through French class and then run, truly run, to her office until the coast was clear.  That teacher saved my life.
Stay Fabulous
Boy About Town

Pillow Talk w Boy About Town

Boy's Big News....Look Out Howard Stern!